A Day off in Zurich

I'm headed to Bansko, Bulgaria tomorrow for another World Cup speed week.  But, today I had a day off in Zurich.  I said a sleepy goodbye to Kelly this morning, had a yummy breakfast with Erik and then decided to brave the Swiss transit into the city.  Turns out I didn't need to be that brave because the first lady I asked for guidance was lovely and we rode together the whole way.  I shopped around for some essentials and some not-so-essentials, checked out the beautiful lake and then headed home.  It was a wonderful coincidence that I was waiting for the same train as my new friend, who I learned was Lilian.  She dropped off good luck Lindor chocolates this afternoon (Danke schon, Lilian).  After deciding I didn't reeeally need a nap because the next door's bathroom needing fixing more, I reorganized my bags and caught the Moscow city event on Eurosport.  Very fun and it looked like a good turnout!  I love watching ski racing and I'm excited for my races this weekend.  

Some pictures of Lake Zurich.  

Picture blog

Entertainment at Mayor's Welcome party

New Accommodation Development

Russian morning

Russian morning #2

Russian mountains

Hmm.

I believe that one day I will look back on these times, these weeks, and think, "If only you could've more easily understood why there had to be ebbs with the flow."

I'm sitting in the Munich airport waiting for my flight home.  I've had 24 hours to let the weekend's events marinate.  I'm disappointed.  I've had high expectations of myself my entire life and I attribute a lot of my success to them.. they're too high sometimes, but they keep me going.  However, at a time like this when I know I should be more composed and trusting, I'm finding it difficult.  I know this week at home will help me reflect in a more realistic way and on the weekend when I fly back to Europe, I will have a bigger-picture mentality.  The truth is, I had an incredible kickoff to my comeback that almost skewed the reality and definition of what coming back is all about.  I was on the podium in my first week of racing and continued to do so on the European stage.  But World Cup is like war... with trenches and helmets and duct tape and padding and preparation and passion.  Ok, it's not quite like war.  But my appreciation for what it takes to be a World Cup ski racer with consistency and confidence has heightened since my two-year hiatus.  Technically, my skiing is sound.  I am a better skier than I was before my injury.  But I am not yet adjusted to the speed and anticipating terrain and the appropriate reactions at those speeds.  I am learning and building and looking hard for the positives.  Speaking of positives, here's some emo pictures I took last week.  Except the last one, the last one's of me and Anja..  She's been really helpful and supportive throughout these last few weeks.  

Ok.  Time to fly home and hug Mom and Dad and kiss my cat 165 times.

Bridge

Fridge

Friend

A weekend in St. Moritz

Another race day in the bank.  The emotion of the race has subsided and I do recognize that each day, each race, each finish is helping me reach my goal of being the fastest female ski racer in the world.  I know it's a big goal but I know I'm on a good path.  Today wasn't the result I was looking for but it was definitely the weather :)  St. Moritz gets 288 days of sun a year and we got one today.  It was beautiful.  My mom and I talked on the phone last night and she asked me to post more pictures.  Here's a couple, Mom.  Love you.

Sunrise

Lili, Dave and I

And yesterday.  Yesterday was a fill-up-your-bucket day.  I had an incredible time, first time, watching a World Cup Bobsleigh race.  I walked all along the track, the only natural track on the circuit.  It was really something to be so close to these monsters rumbling down the hill.  And my friend, Jesse Lumsden, was racing and greeted us at the finish.  They placed 6th and he was disappointed but wore a big smile ever conscious of the big picture.  So.  I took some footage and put together a montage.  Enjoy my take on the bobsleigh scene.

Eurotrip

It's nice to be back in Europe.  Back to Austria, Germany, Switzerland and Italy.  Everything always seems to be 2-5 hours away here and we've definitely taken advantage of that.  After landing in Zurich on Jan 3rd, we were in and out of four countries in 5 days.  We decided against the trek to France because there was too much snow.  The irony never gets old.  So we headed to a couple GS races in Oberjoch, Germany... one of two were canceled due to, wait for it, too much snow.  Next stop, the daunting Bad Kleinkirchheim that's been on the schedule staring at me for weeks.  It would be my first downhill race and just my second day on the long boards in over two years.  A personal bucket of challenges.  A new-to-me track and bib #1 on the first day of training.  It was understood that if I didn't feel comfortable, I didn't have to go through with it.  Minutes before the start, I was still torn.  It's a very fine line between feeling nervous because it's something that will, ultimately, be rewarding, or feeling nervous because it's just not right.  I guess my indecisiveness pushed me out of the start.  My technician, and angel-in-outdoorsman-disguise yelled, "Rise to the occasion!"  All I thought on the first forty seconds of flats was, "Hell ya, what else am I going to do?!"  It was fun, just like everyone said it would be.  If nothing else, I got to go 100km/h and no ticket.  But the following days of downhill got tougher.  The track got slick and dark and I felt full-frontal fear.  I knew racing down that I should want more speed, but I was opting out.  My coaches have been telling me to 'give yourself a break', so I'm trying.  But I'm keen to make sure I'm progressing forward also.  I know I want the speed, but it has to be in sync with my confidence.  It was so fun to be back in it though.  Today I was 9th in the SuperG race and I know I have more to give.  Just need more time to find that level of sanity, er, insanity, required to reach new heights in these disciplines :)  You gotta be a little crazy.  But like I said the other day, downhill is crazy but not doing one thing a day that scares you is crazier.  I used to love hate ski racing, but now I just love it... because I will be forever recovered (mentally and physically) from my injury due, solely, to this incredible sport and this intense passion.  So thanks, Europe, for being another page in my book.  Next stop is Cortina, Italy for the World Cup SuperG.  I'm psyched.  I've been there a couple times and it's one of my favourite places to ski.  And by ski, I mean, turn around on the chairlift and soak in the views.  The Dolomites are something magical.  Following Cortina, we're headed to St.Moritz, Switzerland for both the Europa and World Cup weeks.  Then, home for a break to take in the, equally as magical, views of Georgian Bay from the Georgian Peaks chairlift.  See you soon.  Auf Weidersehen.

Ski Racing!

I skied raced this week.  I'm so happy.  I worked harder than I ever thought possible and now I am doing again what I love the most, competing.  But here's the behind-the-scenes of my first three starts...


I was pumped for the two weeks prior to racing and watching the World Cup weekend in Lake Louise was the icing on my preparation and inspiration to have a great race week.  Monday we had a day of freeskiing on the race hill.  It was supposed to be chill.  I was a mess from the minute I woke up in the morning.  Very stressed and too excited.  It wasn't a good state.  I was tense and irritable and pretending to be relaxed.  A true mess.  In the evening after our team meeting (after receiving my first race bib), I laid down in our make-shift gym and the self-imploding began.  I was checked on by a couple of my coaches but didn't know what words to use other than denial.. "no, no, I'm good, thanks."  I can't put into words how grateful I am that my mom came out to be with me this week.  After surrendering and truly realizing that I couldn't tackle this alone, I called her.  She gave me about 15 seconds to be tough and then offered to come down and meet me on the meeting room floor.  So there we were, me laying on my back with tears pooling on the floor beside me and my mom sitting up, like the sturdy ship that she is, holding my hand and my pride.  We spent the next hour and a half reminiscing over the last two years.  We laughed and cried.  We laughed about my dad attempting to keep things light and full of perspective by telling me that 'lots of kids don't even get dinner' and we cried about how few dinners I could even stomach with all the drugs I had to be on.  It felt ironic to be so distraught over the completion of such an ugly chapter of my life.  I didn't have an ounce of negativity or anger in my heart, but just a boat load of emotion.  Mom and I, ceremoniously, said goodbye to the baby that was my injury and recovery and decided that I would have to brave the what-ifs of this next chapter.  And if the last two years didn't make me brave, I don't know what would.


Tuesday was race day.  I was still very stiff and nervous in the start and on the course.  I made a tactical error on the first pitch and skied out.  I was annoyed but not upset, just relieved to have that first start out of the way.


Wednesday was my second start.  And my first finish.  I got away with some hairy skiing because the course was set fairly easy but I was pumped to go through the finish line with a fifth place.  


Thursday was my third start.  I was wishing all afternoon the day before for bib #1.  I had been starting 25th and 29th (luck of the draw, or lackthereof).  When I got to meeting the night prior, I saw #1 and knew it was mine.  I loved going first.  There's no one to show the way, or give a course report.  It's all about trust and confidence.  I was so calm.. I thought possibly too calm when I yawned minutes before my start.  But I've learned that it takes very little for me to get fired up and even just a good visual of a perfect turn will get my blood pumping.  So I pushed hard, skied smart and skied to the win.  :)

Life's a wild ride and I don't understand most of it, but right now, in the moment, I'm happy.  Since I can remember, that's all I've ever wished for when I have candles to blow out or the clock says 11:11 or the chairlift stops at the tower... to be happy.  


I owe my success to a long list of people and the outpouring of support in the last week has been so kind and not unnoticed.  Thank you to everyone for continuing to follow my path and believing in me as a person and an athlete.  Let's see where we can take this.

One step back, two steps forward

I guess it's more like one step back, and one to the left, a long jump forward, then a step to the right and a little back, a single-leg leap back, then a triple jump forward.  In one sentence, my summer was productive.  I made some very big gains in short periods of time.  I made a big physical gain throughout the month of October training in the gym.  I succeeded at fitness testing in Calgary last month with some of my best tests to date.  I continued to improve my skiing and even landed my first handful of jumps last week.  I freeskied on my downhill skis, longest boards yet, just yesterday.  The wind in my face felt nice again and, in an American Thanksgiving kind of way, I was thankful.  With all that said, I have left my crew to be in Calgary to gently tackle an irritating back issue that has been relentless in the last week.  So I write from my king bed at the Sandman with the Vanier Cup on in the background and my Dodge Avenger rental waiting in the parking lot to take me to all my appointments for the next four days.  I think the magic potion will be far from magical.  Feeling better will be the result of chiropractic care, physio, massage, hot baths, cold tubs, stretching and rest.  And honey nut Cheerios.  And my new favourite show, Storage Wars.  And my new favourite novel, Game of Thrones.  I had no intention after all the time I spent away from the ski racing regime to take another hiatus, even if it's just 4 days.  But I cannot be productive and continue to excel feeling this way.  So I'll continue to learn another layer of patience and smile because I know that when I have my health, I do my best.

Something that's exciting and very helpful is my shoulder patch this year.. Georgian Peaks!  I didn't need to sew a patch on my jacket to understand the amount of support coming from my home ski club, but they really stepped up by purchasing that space.  I look forward to the holidays when I can play in that familiar backyard again.  But I want to earn that Christmas break.  I plan to race the NorAm superG and GS races in Nakiska and Panorama in the next month.  I have specific goals of skiing the way I've learned to ski this summer and applying my technical and positional changes.  It's very clear that I'm a racehorse and want to go fast when the clock is ticking, but it's even more clear that I need to respect my progression and why it's in place.  Man, I'm mature.  No.  I make mistakes every day and forget the plan altogether sometimes.  I mean, I can't do it all the right way all the time.  I probably went much too long without a good solid rest but now I know.  Just like the st.bernard in the lobby at the Delta this morning.  He peed on the fake Christmas tree, but how was he supposed to know he wasn't allowed to do that?  He probably won't do it again because he got in a lot of trouble, but it just shows you... we all learn from our mistakes.  Hopefully.  Eventually.  
Tomorrow there are World Cup races in Lake Louise and Aspen and I'm excited to watch some fast skiing.  Twitter will be out of control.


Till next time.